Should You Run Your Love Life “Like A Business”? ~by Dating Expert David DeAngelo
Romantic writer-philosopher, Ayn Rand, once said, “Love should be treated like a business deal.”
Wow… how totally NOT romantic is that?
At first glance, love and business don’t seem in the same ballpark… one’s about heat, heart and feeling, the other’s about cold planning and strategy. Right?
That’s what I used to think. Until, after taking a lot of wrong turns and feeling pretty lost and hopeless about love, I learned how to look at things a little differently – and then succeeded in it beyond my wildest dreams.
More on that in a moment. For now, here’s how my change of heart began…
Looking back on my family growing up, as it is for most of us, my parents were my biggest example of how to approach life.
They were loving, hippie-adventurous, seat-of-the-pants, forward-thinking folks. Awesome people… but the type that created an environment growing up where I didn’t learn much about planning for success.
I wanted to learn: How could I make a better life for myself? How would I attract and keep a great woman? If I miraculously got one, how would I provide stability and security in our lives?
Not surprisingly, I had no clue where to begin.
Cut to adulthood…
After a long journey to discover what really works in life and love, I now have a great career, an amazing wife and a growing family. And here’s the biggest lesson that journey taught me:
Success in love DOES require some planning and “strategizing”… just like a business. Therefore, many of the same skills apply.
Of course, there’s a lot to it. But, for now, here are 4 key “business skills” that vastly accelerated my success creating the relationship of my dreams… I know they’ll do the same for you…
Financial genius Warren Buffett says, to create anything new, first you must make the right connections about how to get there from here. You must be able to identify a new path forward.
Whether you’re looking to create a great relationship or a pile of money, you need to practice the PROCESS of creativity… getting better at looking at things differently so you can stop making the same mistakes and move closer to the prize..
Here’s a simple exercise that illustrates the example:
Look around. Find two objects that seem similar… cars, people, whatever… and ask yourself: “Are these mostly the same or different?” Then list the characteristics of these things that go AGAINST your original opinion.
This is a great way to train yourself to become “systematically creative”… to see situations in new ways and make new connections.
You’ll be blown away how quickly you become better at creative thinking… and how many new paths to getting what you want (in both life and love) suddenly appear before you.
In other words, until you learn how to spend time and energy on the right things at the right time, nothing happens. Whether you’re trying to get dates or build wealth, you need a SYSTEM – a way to prioritize and focus.
So make a plan like any good businessman. Arrange your life for success in love by putting yourself in as many high-success-probability situations as possible. Whether it’s attending weddings or joining clubs or playing certain sports (did you know guys play field hockey?) expose yourself to as MANY high-quality opportunities as possible.
Above all, plan to take care of yourself.
If you feel lousy and tired, you can’t perform. So learn how to rejuvenate, from how much you sleep to how you eat and relax. It puts you in the strongest position to be produce and succeed.
Whether you’ve created something to sell or you’re selling YOURSELF to a woman, you need to get the right message out.
We as humans are triggered to action by specific ways to get our needs met – we want exactly the right widget to get a specific job done. Once we find that precisely right thing, most of the time we’re sold before we even realize it.
So practice marketing YOU. Learn how to communicate exactly what your “target market” (high-quality women) is looking for.
From communicating maturity, confidence and control to showing a woman that you can provide both fun and stability in her life, these are the qualities she’s searching for in her perfect “Mr. Right.”
Once she gets the message that she’s found them in you, she’ll move mountains to “close the deal” and be with you.
I love this. It’s is all about choosing peers and mentors who are already where you want to be.
Surrounding myself with successful, like-minded people to soak up their wisdom and experience made my own success begin to flow almost effortlessly.
I learned how to meet women and get dates… how to create a deep, life-changing relationship… how to create financial security for my family… all through locating these “masterminds,” becoming friends with them, collaborating and learning from them.
So choose the right people to spend time with. Want to be a chess champion? Hang with board kings. Want to crack the four-minute mile? Join a pace group. Want to succeed with women and relationships? Hang with me.
See how it all comes together?
Anyway. Just like Ayn was telling us, whether you’re looking for success in love or in life, you need to make it your “business” to make it happen.